Thursday, April 14, 2005

ei.. its been so long......

i'm back!!
just finished first year of college in plm......
finally! success!!!
now my new problem....
i have to arrange my papaers so i could shift to nursing...
hate that task!
why cant i just transfer just like that.........
ok naman yung gwa ko...
well, good luck nalang sakin........
keep in touch........
sna may time na ulit akong gumawa ng blog....
see yah!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

so tagal ko naring di nakapag post.. anywayz wla namang maxadng bago... ganun pa rin... maraming trabaho sa school pero ok pa rin.. tinatamad na kc akong maginternet kya d narin ako madalas na makapgpost..

so pagfeel ko ng ichika ang mga happenings sa life ko ill let u know.. bite me!

Saturday, October 30, 2004

journey to the past...

"Journey To The Past"

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turnback
Now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
On this journey...to the past
Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waitingg
Years of dreams
Just can't be wrong
Arms will open wide
I'll be safe and wanted
Fin'lly home where I belong
Well, starting here, my life begins
Starting now, I'm learning fast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
On this journey...to the past
Heart don't fail me now!
Courage don't desert me!
Home, Love, Family
There was once a time
I must have had them too
Home, Love, Family
I will never be complete
Until I find you...
One step at a time
One hope, then another
Who knows where
This road may go-
Back to who i was
On to find my future
Things my heartstill
Needs to know
Yes, let this be a sign!
Let, this road be mine!
Let it lead me to my past
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
To bring me home...
At last!
At Last!

at the beginning....

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind meT
his is the start
Life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
At the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you
We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how are dreams could come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you
And life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
At the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's going to tear us apart
And life is a road and I want to going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

Thursday, October 28, 2004

i went to plm yesterday for our enrollment... im happy because most of my classmates before will still be my classmates for the second sem...im also glad that my schedule is somewhat similar to the first i had.. friday is my free day..

the thing is i should have two day offs that is tuesday and friday but my pe class is scheduled during tuesday.. but its okay because i wont come to class looking sweaty and all... what surprised me is that our trigonometry is during sundays along with my cwts... how weird is that!?!

anywayz, unlike before my classes are more or less not so early in the morning... but a little late than before.. before, 4 pm is the latest subject i have.. but now i have until 5:30 pm.. but as i said its okay...

i feel better now than for the past few days.. i kinda got out from my shell a little bit and that enabled me to breathe... thanx to my ever beloved friends of course...

nazareth school is still having their intrams and how i wish i was there.. theres nothing to do at home.. and im bored to death.. how i wish its already november 8 so i could focus my attention to my studies... when im not doing anything.. im beginning to think im crazy because of all the things that keep entering my mind...

im not thinking of killing myself of course.. im not like that! but memories that i dont want to remember because it brings back loneliness and all that crap! and sometimes i wish of certain things that i know is impossible to happen.. or is it? hehehe!!

though everything is not as simple as before, i think if i become true to myself ill be able to surpass all these things.. but that is something i find so dificult coz i might get hurt in the process.. and i dont want that of course.. its just... its like theres something in blocking my throat and i cant breathe.. and i know that if i let it out, ill be able to feel better...

haii.. ill just wait for the right time.. maybe in the future things will fall into place the way i want it to be..

Monday, October 25, 2004

literary....

this day i planned to be good and smooth... turned out to be very annoying!! the program is okay i guess and i really like the interpretative dance of the second year.. im really glad they won!! they deserve it!!

haii to be honest going back to nazareth is painful because it brings back good memories that makes me lonely and annoying memories as well... i dont really want to feel annoyed because the fire that you kindle for your enemy burns you more than her... and i mean HER or THEM!!

the thing is the mere presence of this peole gives me the urge to be violent.. im containing myself as hard as i could and im about to blow.. of course not infront of other people... k alex lang xempre..

i feel sorry for her because i was kinda scape-goating on her awhile ago... im so frustrated i cant keep my thoughts straight...

basta.. bahala na si batman.. im looking forward to be caming back again for the intramurals tomorrow.. hope the aura will be different from the one today...

a sudden change of heart and mind...

so i was saying awhile ago but some stupid reasons why not to come back to my X... and hell those are absolutely the right reasons not to...

hey iv lived for a long time without anyone by my side (you know whom i referring to!) and i know that i will be fine for the coming days without making any changes in my life... why the sudden change of mind? well because im really irritated at the moment.... im really really frustrated about things i cant even name...

the thing is it actually came to me to pick up where we left of but i know for a fact that it wont work... not anymore... it seems like everything is so annoying and i cant help but to find ways to release all these...

i dont want a complicated life... though i want something better, id rather stay the same than to risk my pride...
after all things will never be the same to what they used to be... im so stupid sometimes that im caught offf guard with the fast changes of reality..

its so dumb of me to say that something is beyond forgetting because all things are ever changing.. though the future doesnt always remember and the past doesnt always forget... im not either one of them.. im krishna and i can definitely forget something if i really want to..

i know i might eat my words one day but i assure you, i will do all my best to prevent that from happening... i forgot the reason why i continue to breakaway... hell with the past...

so friends out there if you see me falling that stalker trap.. hit me hard okay so i wont dare go down that path... maybe i cant find the way to finally unchain the past but i will someday...

sounds bitter right? well lets just say this girl woke up from a dream, not horrible and not also that fantastic... and ought to find a better dream to build... its nice to relieve that moment once in a while... but that will never happen anymore... not when im aware of it...

i dont want to close my heart because of my past... its just that id rather be alone than to spend my life with someone im not even sure im ganna marry someday...

hell i care about what i see or what i feel..... those things dont matter anymore... whats important is im able to live my life the way iv planned... no distractions to detour routes... bite me!

3 reasons not to come back to my X

here goes... not that im thinking about it or anything... just thinking out loud...

1.) he already has someone else... its crystal clear.... hehehe!! no need to explain.

2.) when i went away he didnt come after me... obvious ba may someone else na nga eh...

3.) his friends are more important to him than anything else... theres no room for violent reactions coz iv already proven that statement.....

why did i bring this issue up... simple... some things are beyond forgetting...

heres what happened... i had to go to a tugon ek-ek thing last sunday... i had no time to attend mass except later that day.. so i signed-in in my messenger.. and there he was my ex online at the same time.

so we chatted and talked about whats new and all and we decided to attend mass together... nothing happened of course... just a simple eucharistic celebration... all went well and ended well...

so my friends keep bugging me about the issue... but id rather not say anything coz i know that whatever i say will be turned and used against me.. i have the right to remain silent about this michigas..... (michigas is another term for crazyness).

a friend always told me that i have this certain fixation about the song break away.. the thing is i already found out what that fixation is and i planned to share it to you all but its not yet the right time...

the thing is i dont want anything to change because i love my life right now and i still have my doubts... guess id be lying if i say i didnt like him because hes a really nice guy... but the thing is there are hindrances and i dont know... im confused.. everything is so perplex.. or am i making it to be that way?

anywayz.. i know what to do.. take the highroad as always... im just saying this to release all these thoughts that kept bugging me every night...

i found his poem.... its entitled "beyond forgetting".. its really nice and mushy and all that... but i wont post it here... not yet.. i find it dificult to reflect why i cant like anyone else... like as like-like not just like.. i watched this movie sweet home alabama and melanie carmichael said when she backed off during her wedding with the mayor's son is because she had given her heart a long time ago, her whole heart and she never really got it back...

the question is: does the same thing happened to me? i really dont know.. i dont want to make any hasty conclusions but i know one day ill find out for myself the questions that linger in my mind right now.. til here..

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

class cards suck!!!

i finally got my classcards and im suprised how they turned out to be... when i ghot the cards, lets say there's a mixture of happiness and disappointment that moment... lets check out my grades shall we...

EPI - 2.25 === hey i think i deserve a higher grade than just 2.25...its not fair.. anyway our english prof is really inconsiderate so i guees ill just have to pray that she wont be our prof next sem.

PSYCHOLOGY - 1.5 === now heres a grade i didnt expect... i almost failed in the midterms and my quizzes are not that high either but our prof gave me this grade... hes so nice!

SOCIOLOGY - 1.25 === now heres something i known form the start.. since i got 1.5 in the midterm, we were told that it will aldance i spot higher if we have perfect attendance.. so no surprise at all..

SINING - 1.25 === i guess its okay.. i didnt put much effort in this subject that i made it a point that i dont fail so i think i deserve this grade...

ALGEBRA - 2.0 === already know what im ganna get in this subject.. i computed my grade before the finals and it turned out to be exactly what is supposed to be.. bite me!

CHEMISTRY - 1.75 === heres the suprise of the century! i failed her midterm and some of my quizzes and yet shes so generous she gave me this grade.. i so love Ms. Bumanglag!

P.E. - 1.25 === how i wish this subject is included in the general weighted average... i got a high grade and yet it wont be counted... iv known that from the start but a girl can dream... dream on!

CWTS - 2.5 === thank god this subject is not included in the G.W.A. i slaved every every sunday to go to school and for what? a lousy 2.5!!

all in all im still happy the way my grades turned out.. luckily im included in that dean lister thingy... hehehe!! we just had our pre-enrollement and the actual enrollment will be on october 27.

i pray that we will still be blockmates... the block-3 are so close (at least some of us) that i wish well be together all. our stay in plm... but as we all know hopefully ill be shifting to b.s. nursing next year... so i guess will just see each other around the campus by then...

so what do you say about my grades? they suck!!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

gosh!

after so many months of being left behind when it comes to movies and stuff, i finally caught up with all the great movies that ive missed.. though some of my favorites are yet to be seen, ive finally watched the prince and me and the notebook..

it was awesome... the guys from both movies are cute and so handsome...not to mention charming! the girls are ok too i guees, it would be better if im the one in the movie!! hehe!! dream on!!

the similarities i sought in the two movies is that the leading men are patient in waiting for the one they love.. how romantic! though those kind of love are almost going down the drain now a days, i guess its still okay to believe sometimes in life we can find a love like the ones shared in the movies...

i wasnt able to capture the famous quotation in the notebook and in the prince in me because im too captivated in the beauty of the two leading men... actually, i really find it interesting.. how the girls are the ones who left and being followed or patiently waited by the boys... hahaha!!

so, all in all... i had a great time watching those movies and though it sounds corny and all.. i learned a lot about life and love... not that im bitter or anything.. i just speaking my mind.... till here...