3 reasons not to come back to my X

here goes... not that im thinking about it or anything... just thinking out loud...

1.) he already has someone else... its crystal clear.... hehehe!! no need to explain.

2.) when i went away he didnt come after me... obvious ba may someone else na nga eh...

3.) his friends are more important to him than anything else... theres no room for violent reactions coz iv already proven that statement.....

why did i bring this issue up... simple... some things are beyond forgetting...

heres what happened... i had to go to a tugon ek-ek thing last sunday... i had no time to attend mass except later that day.. so i signed-in in my messenger.. and there he was my ex online at the same time.

so we chatted and talked about whats new and all and we decided to attend mass together... nothing happened of course... just a simple eucharistic celebration... all went well and ended well...

so my friends keep bugging me about the issue... but id rather not say anything coz i know that whatever i say will be turned and used against me.. i have the right to remain silent about this michigas..... (michigas is another term for crazyness).

a friend always told me that i have this certain fixation about the song break away.. the thing is i already found out what that fixation is and i planned to share it to you all but its not yet the right time...

the thing is i dont want anything to change because i love my life right now and i still have my doubts... guess id be lying if i say i didnt like him because hes a really nice guy... but the thing is there are hindrances and i dont know... im confused.. everything is so perplex.. or am i making it to be that way?

anywayz.. i know what to do.. take the highroad as always... im just saying this to release all these thoughts that kept bugging me every night...

i found his poem.... its entitled "beyond forgetting".. its really nice and mushy and all that... but i wont post it here... not yet.. i find it dificult to reflect why i cant like anyone else... like as like-like not just like.. i watched this movie sweet home alabama and melanie carmichael said when she backed off during her wedding with the mayor's son is because she had given her heart a long time ago, her whole heart and she never really got it back...

the question is: does the same thing happened to me? i really dont know.. i dont want to make any hasty conclusions but i know one day ill find out for myself the questions that linger in my mind right now.. til here..